The Beginning of Our Trip to Holland

     If you are the parent of a special needs or high needs child, you have probably heard the poem about planning a trip to Paris but you got rerouted to Holland instead. While Holland has lots to do and see, it's not quite Paris. So too is raising a child with high needs or special needs. Like every mom I had dreams, hopes, and aspirations for my daughter. She was very bright, charming and creative. She also had a dark side to her that I didn't dare share with many people. When she was 3, her preschool had to hire an aide to help with my daughter. When she was 4 and at another preschool, she bit another child's finger pretty severely. In Kindergarten, she started having a lot of discipline problems both at school and home. Since I am a teacher, I know that parents can request meetings to get their child more help. So I asked for one (In our district they are called Student Intervention Team meetings or SIT meetings for short.) Right before the SIT meeting my husband and I brought our daughter to the school's extended day care in her PJ's because she wouldn't get dressed for us that morning. During the meeting the school psychologist said that since we were having so many problems perhaps it was time to look into family counseling. So we agreed to this. The pastor at our church who oversees the counseling ministry recommended an MFT in a neighboring city. (We still see this therapist almost three years later. She has been a Godsend!)
     At our first meeting at this therapist's (tdoc) office, my husband and I filled out paperwork and surveys. One of the surveys we filled out was a rating scale that helped to determine if your child had ADHD or not. Well guess what? Both of our answers resulted in the therapist seeing that our daughter displayed most of the characteristics of a child with severe ADHD. The therapist kindly but firmly told us this along with the fact that we would probably have to medicate her.
Our daughter's pediatrician didn't know what drugs to prescribe but did sign the paperwork that stated that our darling daughter (dd) had ADHD. This was a relief for us because we could now get her accommodations at school. Perhaps the principal would back off a bit and stop suspending our dd. (Yep, my sweet girl was suspended twice in Kindergarten, Never since though. Thank God!)
     Over the summer of 2010 our tdoc recommended a psychiatrist (pdoc), a complete battery of psychological testing and couples therapy as well as individual counseling for our dd. The pdoc didn't work out but six months later we eventually found one that we adore. The testing did show that our dd indeed had ADHD with a possible mood disorder. The couple's therapy was great because it gave us someone to talk to that knew what we were going through, who could help us navigate the waters so to speak. Our dd loves visiting Miss R every week because she does play therapy with her. Our dd knows that even though she doesn't always like what Miss R tells her, she speaks out of love.
     Right after our dd was diagnosed I went to our local bookstore and thumbed through a book that happened to have one chapter on children with mood disorders. At the end of the chapter it said something like for more information go to The Balanced Mind Foundation on the web. (At that time it was called CABF.org) I went home and got on that site right away. I have been a member ever since. Here is a place where I can share about my dd with other parents who have children like mine.
     Stay tuned as I post more about our trip to Holland. For now you may unfasten your seat belts.

Let's Try This Blogging Thing Again

Well Hello Again!
I have been MIA from this Blog for wayyyy too long! I'm going to try it again. I believe that many will be inspired by my stories and my life. You may not know this but my daughter, who this blog is mainly about, now has an alphabet soup of diagnoses after her name. So now I know why she was such a drama queen as a young child. The biggest diagnosis is a mood disorder. I want to share more and will do so as time progresses. I just want to know that those who read this will respect my husband's and my decisions concerning our daughter. Unless you are an expert or you yourself have traveled in our shoes, you have no idea how difficult it is to raise a high needs child. If our daughter had brain cancer or diabetes, we would do whatever it took to get her what she needed. That is exactly how it is for us. OK enough ranting for now.
I am a mom like many of my blogger friends. Some of my trials are the same as theirs but some are significantly different. At the end of the day we all love our kids and hold them dear to our hearts.

Here's the latest picture of my sweet daughter.

This was taken Christmas morning. She was checking to see if Santa had eaten the cookies.

Drama Queen in Training Stories-- Episode 11- A Cake and a Heart

I can say this I may have a daughter who makes poor choices at times but she is remorseful and wants to make amends with me. On Friday night she decides to make me a cake to make me happy. The only problem was that she made it out of a whole roll of toilet paper, lots of water and some sparkling body gel. She was promptly sent to bed while I cleaned up the watery mess. Additionally two of her toys were put on time out for two days. In the morning we had a discussion about this. I let her know that if she wants to make me something, she can ask for a piece of paper to make a card.
Then Saturday night we were sitting in the rocking chair reading books when all of a sudden Princess says "I gotta go do something. I'll be right back." The next thing I know there is whispering amongst Princess and her daddy. I also hear the sounds of cutting going on in our family room. Finally Princess comes out to where I am and hands me this lovely handwritten card. It said To Mom, From Princess, I love you. I almost cried. She said " I'm sorry for all of my poor choices." My response "I forgive you." This is the first card she has made me that I can actually read without her reading it to me. I am so blessed!!
See attached photo.

Drama Queen in Training Stories- Episode 10- The Case of the Missing Purse

So on Friday morning I was getting my things together before I woke up Princess. I could not find my purse anywhere. When I woke Princess up, I let her know what was happening and told her that I was going to the car to see if I accidentally left my purse there. So I put my bathrobe on and braved the cold morning air to search for my purse. Once I returned to the comfort of my warm home I let my little darling know that I my search was fruitless so that meant we would not be getting breakfast on the way to school. (There's this bakery called Panera on the way to Princess's school. Princess really likes their Chocolate Chip Muffies, muffin tops.) Upon hearing this new information (and perhaps coming to her senses) Princess says "Mommy I'll help you look for your purse. You look in the Family Room and I'll look in the Living Room." Seconds later she "finds" my purse behind the rocking chair. I was of course relieved but very angry. I honestly couldn't believe that she let me go to out to the car and only told me where the purse was after I returned. Well thankfully for her only consequence was that she did not get to get her nice breakfast. I was only a few minutes late to work after this latest escapade. So I will be keeping a closer eye on my belongings.

Kindergarten Chronicles: Prove It Mrs. L.

I have always tried to make learning fun for my students. I want them to love coming to school. My philosophy is that if kids enjoy school they will want to come ever day. They won't want to miss a day of excitement.
Never has this been more true than this year as I teach Kindergartners. I used this tactic last week as I was teaching numbers 10-20. I employed a simple game using large foam dice and little plastic animals. The students thought I was a magician because I could "guess" how many critters were left in the cup after the amount shown on the dice was removed. I taught them the phrase "Prove it Mrs. L.!" To which I of course was proven correct every time. I did teach them my little secret and had them try for themselves to see if they could "guess" accurately.
Fast forward to this week. I introduced the words for numbers 10-20. In the midst of our game, one little towheaded youngster says. "Mrs. L. do you know how to spell five?" My response was of course in the affirmative. To which he called out "Prove it Mrs. L." I almost busted a gut laughing. You see this week we had not used the phrase at all but somehow it had stuck with this little fellow.

Drama Queen in Training Stories--Episode 9

My Little Dancer- New

When I titled my blog "Raising a Drama Queen", I thought that term best suited my situation perfectly. You see my daughter loves to create drama in our home both with her misbehavior ( See my previous posts.) and her creativity. I think she loves to see me squirm when she disobeys but she also likes to be a little performer. She likes to put on shows for my husband and I on a regular basis. She will put a CD in the boom box and act out the songs on it. Sometimes she comes up with her own moves. Other times she uses moves that she has either seen in a movie or in her dance class. I kid you not sometimes these shows can last upwards of 45 minutes to 1 1/2 hours!! One time she set the coffee table in the living room complete with cups, plates and silverware. She then proceeded to put on a dinner show for her father and I.
Quite often these shows include multiple costume changes. For her Disney Classics CD she was Ariel one minute, Minnie Mouse the next and I believe even dressed up as Jesse from Toy Story.
I'm not sure where she saw it but she wants to learn how to do a cartwheel. I was never in gymnastics or cheer so I am no help but then again neither is my husband. He did go so far as to research on YouTube how to do a cartwheel. As a result Princess can now get in position to do a cartwheel but has not progressed in her form. So if you know of anyone who can teach my child how to do a cartwheel, please contact me.

Drama Queen in Training Stories- Episode 8

First Published January 2010
"My Daughter Ran Away, Got Married and Kissed a Boy Last Weekend- Did I Mention That She's Only 5!"

I don't know if I could write a title that long but I thought I'd try anyways.

So my very precocious 5 year old tells me on Saturday night that she wants to leave our home because her father and I don't love her. All this because we wouldn't let her stay up longer to watch more of a movie she had already seen at least ten times. After her proclamation, I told her that that was fine with me. Then I proceeded to open the door that leads from our kitchen to our garage. On her way out she asks " Is it raining?" I informed her that it wasn't and wished her well. Then I spied on her as she walked around to the front door and rang the bell. When my husband and I opened the door, she tearfully said "I thought you didn't love me." I let her know that yes we did indeed love her and asked her if she was ready get dressed for bed. She answered in the affirmative. The rest of our bedtime ritual went very smoothly.

The next day being Sunday I took my little darling to church. When I left her in the care of her Sunday School teachers, I had no way of knowing she would be married when I picked her up.
Well that's just what happened. When I got to her classroom, I was made aware that she and a very dapper older man had indeed gotten married and kissed on the lips to seal the deal. I will say that my daughter has good taste. This six year old boy was wearing a suit and a top hat. (Hey I just report the facts. I don't make these things up.) According to the gentleman's mother he likes to dress up and wear suits on a regular occasion.

So as we left church I let the little bride know that she is not allowed to kiss another boy, no matter how cute and dashing he is, until she graduates from college. I can dream a little can't I?

By the way tonight I asked my big kid why she rang the door bell. She told me that she wanted to get some clothes for her trip but then decided to come inside. My inquisitive side got the best of me so I asked her where she was going and how she would get there. She said she was going to grandma's house and that she would use a map to help her. I rephrased my question and asked her if she was planning on walking to her dear grandmother's house. To which she replied " I was thinking maybe Daddy would go with me." Perhaps she knows that I would not be an accomplice to her scheme.

This kid cracks me up!!!