Moms of newborns and toddlers will tell you that one of the most precious times spent with their child is when they are cuddling with them. It is when they can bond and connect with this little human. When Princess was a baby, I could cuddle with her but that all changed when she learned to walk. I soon only got those snuggles when she was sick or really tired. She was not one to climb up into my lap because she was always on the go. I later discovered it was also due in part to her Sensory Processing Disorder. Princess did not like the way it felt to be hugged. I think it was just too painful for her. So I'll admit it, I kind of liked it when she was sick and wanted to be held.
Princess was always on the go, think Engergizer Bunny, so to stop and cuddle with mommy was not going to happen.
One way I found around this, was that I would sit her on my lap when I read to her. We have this ottoman that is lavender. We call it the purple chair because it made more sense to call it that when Princess was learning to talk and comprehend words. I was very diligent about reading to Princess on a nightly basis. The one good thing that came out of this was that Princess learned how to read by the age of five. She may not have enjoyed sitting in my lap but she sure enjoyed those books.
As Princess got older, she'd hug her father and I good bye or hello but would not linger. She'd even give us a peck on the cheek at nighttime or if we were leaving for the day.
Additionally, our family room has a couch and a love seat in it. Princess prefers to sit on the couch by herself or with her dolls and stuffed animals. Whenever my husband or I go to sit next to her, she tries to push us away. We've seen this same behavior play out at restaurants with booths. Since my husband is the Jack Sprat type he can sometimes get away with sitting on the same side as Princess but not I. In Princess' mind, the booth or sofa never had enough room for the two of us. At first I was offended by this behavior, but in time I came to realize it was just one Princess' many quirks.
I had that deep longing in my heart to spend more time snuggling with my precious child but the more unstable she became the less of that that I received.
All of that changed once she got on the right medication. The medication that helped her moods stabilize also helped to lessen many of her SPD symptoms. I cannot explain it except to say that since everything is not so prickly to Princess anymore, she's more willing to initiate cuddle time.
This morning was a perfect example of this. I was sitting down in the office when Princess came in and sat on my lap. Usually she's pushing me off of the chair so she can have it to herself. She genuinely wanted to just sit with me and cuddle. So we did. I stopped everything and held my baby girl until the school van picked her up. In a way I feel like I'm getting back something that I thought was lost forever.