Bloggy Moms

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

The Good Enough Mom

Almost every mom wonders if she's doing everything possible to benefit her child. Heck there is even this unspoken competition between us- The Pintrest Mom, The Soccer Mom, The Dance Mom, The Working Mom, The Stay-at-Home Mom, The PTA Mom, The Drama Mom.... Let's not forget The Special Needs Mom or The Autism Mom. These are the ones the rest of us can only dream to be. We try oh so hard, but that brass ring remains just out of our reach. Some women either work really hard at perfection or have that gift of making everything seem flawless. Their children are neat, clean and wear the best clothes. When my daughter took drama, there were moms who could pull costumes out of a hat at a moment's notice. The really good PTA moms hang out at school all day then rush home to prepare a four-course meal, shuttle their child to soccer practice while ending the day back at home so they can help with homework without even breaking a sweat. The examples go on and on.
I stopped trying to be one of these uber moms a long time ago because I just cannot keep up. I was breaking a sweat. I often worry, though if I'm doing enough for my daughter.  I won't say that I have lost sleep over it, but it is something that is lurking in the back of my mind. It's kind of like that mystery item in the back of your refrigerator. You know it's there but maybe by some magic it will disappear.
I finally came to the conclusion that I am "The Good Enough Mom." That may sound like I am putting myself down or lowering my expectations of myself. That couldn't be farther from the truth. After much soul searching, I realized that I have done right by my child. I was working full time and trying to parent a child who needed a child who needed a lot of help. When my child's problems started glaring at me, I stopped sticking my head in the sand like an ostrich and did something about it. I quit my job. I  became a Stay-at-Home Mom so I could get my daughter the help that she needed. When the public school was failing my child, I hired an advocate and educated myself. There was a time when we were trying to find the right medications for my sweet girl. I did not settle for less than God's best in the way of doctors.
Even though, I've done those things I still don't consider myself a Super Mom.
I realize that I'm doing this parenting thing right in the small moments of our days. Recently we sat side by side on the couch placing game pieces on our grocery store's Monopoly board. It was a sweet time that was more than just a game. Then yesterday my daughter apologized to someone that she'd offended. This was done on her own and in her own way even though she didn't feel that that person deserved her forgiveness. These are the most important moments to me.
My daughter may never win awards for her dancing prowess. She may never get a scholarship to an Ivy League university. The best that I can hope for is that she feels loved and that she is special.
I've decided that the only person whose rating of me as a mom matters is my daughter. She is who drives me to do what I do. Yep, The Good Enough Mom. I think that has a nice ring to it.

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