Reflections on 2015

As the new year is on the heels 2015 I find myself reflecting on this past year. I can't guarantee that I'll make new year's resolutions as it seems like I always break them in the first month. I can say that I'll try to appreciate each day like I did this year.
In 2015 our family celebrated two years of stability for my daughter. That might not be a big deal to most. For us it is huge. It means no phone calls to the police. It means no trips to the ER. It means no stays at a behavioral health hospital. It doesn't mean that we always have peace and tranquility in our house. It means we have those more often.
This past year my greatest accomplishment was finally getting an autism diagnosis for my daughter. Some might see that as an extra burden. I choose to see it as success because it means we have answers and solutions are on the way. Solutions like ABA therapy and feeding therapy will assist my child in living a fuller life.
Despite her challenges my daughter took two big trip this year. The first was a trip to Washington, D.C. to speak about mental health the representatives of our elected officials. You can read about our trip here. The flight alone was monumental as seven years ago my daughter had a huge meltdown on the flight coming back from the east coast. This time I was prepared. It made for a much smoother flight for everyone.  The second trip was road trip to northern California to visit with a childhood friend of mine and her family. That trip was special because it reminded me of all the times that my mom and I went on trips together. Our trip up the coast of California was not without its challenges. My daughter and I learned how to figure out the curveballs tossed our way. Sometimes that meant getting back on track after losing our way. Other times it meant that I had to help my daughter when she was feeling overwhelmed. I really learned how to read her. There are times when I can push her to do more than she thinks she can. Other times when I need to let her calm down.
A big accomplishment for my girl this year   being able to perform in a full length musical for the first time in five years.  She may have not had a speaking role in "Mary Poppins", but she learned how to get along with a large group of kids. During the production of this play Princess only had two meltdowns. Both times she was able to turn things around and finish out her responsibilities for the evening. That's success in my eyes.
This past summer in between her activities I made time to take Princess to the beach so she could practice the fine art of Boogie Boarding. She mostly taught herself by watching others and feeling the waves. A few years ago Princess wanted to leave the beach after being there only a couple of hours. She found it cold and the sand was bothersome. She overcame those challenges. She actually looks forward to going now. This makes my heart smile.
I wish that I could say that my little business took off and is booming. It's not even close to being able to being profitable. That's OK though. I'm told that it takes several years for a new business venture to be successful. I'm learning from my mistakes so that I can turn things around. I also see this as more time that I can spend advocating for the needs of my daughter.
While I was trying to get my business off of the ground, my husband was finishing up his classes to become a certificated P.E. teacher. He's excited to begin teaching in the near future.
At Princess's IEP  this fall I asked for the moon. I didn't get it. I got a sliver though. Hopefully she'll get equine therapy in the near future. This is something that I feel she will benefit from since she loves animals so much. I'm blessed to say that my daughter will be at her current therapeutic day school at least through the remainder of this school year.
In less than twelve hours 2016 will be here. I have no idea what it will be like.  Whatever comes our way our family will handle it like champs. We'll take our cues from our cherub who's shown us how.

Here we are in Washington, D.C. advocating for changes in mental health.

More Than Just Three Awards

My daughter attends a therapeutic day school in a neighboring city. Our district determined that her needs could best be met there. Today they had their annual awards assembly. This school gets it. Every child receives an award. They also have special awards. Last year my daughter received just the one award. Today she received three. My husband and I couldn't have been prouder. Each of these awards represents a lot of hard work on Princess's behalf.

The classroom award that she received was for reading.

This award is significant because it represents many hours that Princess has spent reading. She's currently reading at a 12th grade level. This is something that she excels at.

She also received an Honor Roll award.

The special significance behind this award is that even though Princess is bright, her behaviors have always prevented her from truly showing all that she is capable of. At her previous school, she spent much of her time avoiding work.

The one that surprised me the most was this PE award.

 When Princess was in first grade, she clashed with her PE teacher. In subsequent years, she performed only marginally better. This year she decided she was going to change that. She asked her school therapist if she could meet with her current PE teacher so she could figure out how to get along better with her classmates. For his part, this amazing teacher agreed to the meeting. Then he worked with Princess to come up with a plan to ensure that she was successful. This award represents an ongoing commitment for both Princess and her PE teacher.

My daughter still has some growing to do, but she has come so far. This school is the perfect school for her. I'm so happy to see how much she is thriving there.

At the close of the ceremony, a wonderful video was shown. The students were asked to fill in this blank: This school makes me feel.... My daughter said, "successful." I couldn't agree more.

What Does Stability Look Like?

For a little over a year my daughter has been experiencing the longest period of stability in her 10 year old life.  Her father and I couldn't be happier.
A question I hear over and over is, "Is stability possible?" Some people believe "Stable is a place where horses live." When Princess was so unstable due to her mood disorder, I knew that stability was possible but it sure seemed a long way off. I also believed that stable was more than just a place where horses live.
Before stability came to live at our home, things were pretty chaotic. Even though we tried really hard to set limits and keep a structured environment, the littlest thing could trigger a meltdown of epic proportions. Sometimes we knew what the triggers were but other times we walked on eggshells. It was not very fun to live at my house.
Then Dr. Wonderful prescribed Amantadine. About the same time, Princess started at a Therapeutic Day School. Those two things combined have helped my daughter achieve the level of stability she has today. There is still the occasional day where Princess will have a meltdown but those days are less frequent. Additionally the duration and frequency of the rages have diminished.
When I ask my child to pick up her clothes, she does so. When I ask her to help with dishes or laundry, I may have to ask a second time but she will complete the tasks. When it is time for homework, Princess gets right to work with very little assistance from me. When it is time to stop a preferred activity, my daughter stops. If my daughter makes a poor choice that requires a consequence, she accepts the consequence. Recently Princess got upset about something my knight was telling her. She didn't like what she was hearing but she willingly took a cool out in her room until she was calm enough to rejoin the family. On that same day she recognized what she was doing and said, "That was an outburst. I'm sorry." Tonight as she and I were running errands for Christmas, Princess asked me if we could go home. She's learning to listen to her body. She knows how important it is for her to rest when she gets tired or overstimulated. That's a big step towards maturity.  Finally Princess has shown no aggression towards my husband or I in a very long time.
Before stability all of the above was not possible. Homework and chores were not expectations because they required too much effort on Princess' part. No matter what sticker charts or behavior modifications we used, battles ensued at the mere mention of homework or chores. We believe that just going to school and performing simple tasks really took their toll on Princess.
There are a few things I learned a long the path to stability. One was that stability is not achieved over night. We spent three years looking for it. Princess went through many many medication trials. She's had a number of hospitalizations. Another thing I learned is just as a child with Autism or Downs Syndrome has that condition but they learn to function in society with it, so does Princess still have her alphabet soup of diagnoses. Lastly we see that all of the things that were making her act out have calmed down quite a bit.  However, I do find them lurking in the shadows. We are ever mindful of them.
I have no idea how long this period of stability will last but for now I am enjoying it. My knight and I are living in the present. When and if Princess becomes unstable again, we have hope that it will end because we've seen stability and we know how wonderful it is.

*Please note: This is my family's experience. Yours may be different.
Additionally, do not stop or start any medication without the advice of a licensed doctor.