Seeing Things From a Different Perspecitve

I am a little unnerved about something today. I have a choice to either let it eat away at me that people who should care about my child, don't or I can choose to focus on those who do. Guess what I am choosing to do?

Good thing I went to church this morning. During worship one of the songs had these words: Nothing compares to the riches of Your love. Your love is enough. Amen to that.

Instead of  posting a rant,  I am going to tell you about those that God has brought into our lives and what a difference they make.

First of all Princess has three amazing therapists. The one at school is there for her every day. They talk about things that bother her and how to be a better friend. This therapist, Miss A., also has group sessions with my daughter and her classmates. Additionally the school district pays for a therapist from an outside agency to come every other week to meet with Princess to help her build her friendship skills even more. He also meets with my husband and I twice a month as we learn how to parent this child. Since he sees Princess at school, he is a great liaison between school and home. Finally there is our beloved personal therapist. I cannot say enough about this wonderful lady who helped steer us in the right direction from the very beginning almost 4 years ago. One thing that is so good is that she does play therapy with Princess to draw things out of her. She tells Princess the things that she needs to hear but that she might not like to hear. There have been a few times where I thought for sure that Princess was going to say that she didn’t want to go back to see Miss R. after a particularly rough session. Princess understands that Miss R. cares about her so she always wants to go back to see her the following week.

Princess has two doctors who are amazing as well. Dr. R. has been her pediatrician since she was just a few days old. Before Princess had any dx at all. I was struggling with feeling like a loser mom, this doctor took me aside and told me "You are doing a great job!" I didn't even tell her that I was struggling but she could tell. When our therapist told us that we needed to get the dx of ADHD from our child's doctor, Dr. R. signed paperwork stating such. This little piece of paper was all that we needed to get Princess the 504 that she needed so that the school would stop suspending her. (That 504 is now an IEP which is better but is a story for another day.) The other doctor whose feet I would like to kiss is her pdoc. This woman has worked so hard to get my child stable. She tried many medications but it never felt like Princess was a guinnea pig because my husband and I were part of the decision making process. This doctor also kept us well informed. She is usually available via phone or email. That has been a lifesaver in our moments of crisis. Additionally she was the one who asked us to consider Amantadine, what we now refer to as the wonder drug. She is one of those individuals who never stops learning. She went to a conference where she learned about this new to us drug. Then she presented the idea of trying it to us. I am grateful that she is a lifelong learner.

The school that Princess goes to has been a godsend as well. The structure that they provide for Princess is fabulous. We can tell that the staff- van drivers, PE teacher, classroom teachers, aides etc.- really cares about my child and the other children who attend their school.

Our church gets how difficult it can be to be a part of a worshipping community when you have a child with a disability. They are supportive in ways that go beyond my comprehension.

Then there are our friends. They love on my daughter like nobody's business. They ask me how she is doing, how they can pray and basically love on us. It is reassuring to know that my best friend's daughter is also my child's BFF. This child is truly a gift from God. She knows how to love and support my child even on days when it is hard. My BFF reassured me recently by telling me that she wasn't going anywhere. They are in it for the long haul. I only have a few friends who I can count on but God brought the right ones to me.

Today is a day that I can choose to be negative or I can choose the positive. I choose to reflect on those whom God has brought into our lives rather than those who choose not to be supportive.

Oh No She Didn't!

Yep! She did! Read on to find our what my little cherub who is not quite 9, did.
 I was going to write this post last week. It was going to be titled "There's Always a First Time." Well somehow life slipped away from me this week but this topic came up again last night.
 My darling angel has now taken to lying to get out of school. Grant you even though I taught for over 23 years and have seen it all, I was an almost perfect child. I am not exaggerating. All my mom had to do was to look at me a certain way or raise her voice a little and I would comply. I really never even dreamed of doing anything that would upset my mom. Yes I was totally compliant to a fault. Now I know that Princess is almost the opposite of me. I have come to realize that this is who she is. It is part of her make up or DNA if you will. I should not be surprised when she pulls a shenanigan but I am. Mostly because the things that she does happen much younger than I am ready for. The latest occurred last week and was confirmed last night. I did find out that it was worse than I originally thought.
 No Princess did not commit a crime but it sure feels that way to me. I am probably overreacting but nonetheless I am doing everything in my power to prevent her new trick from being perfected.
I bet you are asking yourself right about now what Princess did that was so horrific. Well she lied and told her teacher that she had thrown up in the restroom at school not once but three times. To Mrs. X's and my credit, we only believed her the first time.
What happened is that Princess was sick with some sort of stomach bug early Wednesday morning. Since she threw up twice, my husband and I decided to keep her home. Our downfall was that we let her watch endless hours of TV. Usually Princess only gets to watch 1 hour of TV a day but since she was ill we figured we would bend the rules a little. Wrong!!
Then on Thursday Princess woke up raring to go even eating a small breakfast. About 1 1/2 hours after Princess arrived at school, her teacher called me at home telling me that Princess threw up and that I should pick her up right away. I felt horrible but I know from experience that sometimes kids get sick a second day. When I brought Princess home, I again let her watch TV but not as much. I even went to the store to pick her up some Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, and bread (for Toast)- You know the old fashioned BRAT diet foods. On top of this I picked her up a few get well things that she could play with including a Monster's University Sticker Book. The first clue that I missed was that Princess ate all of this food and even wanted Jell-o. Later she ate a fairly good dinner as well. She never once complained of a stomach ache.
So along comes Friday. my daughter said she didn't want to go to school but I told her that she had to go because she was no longer ill. Lo and behold her teacher called me after school had only been in session for 30 minutes to tell me that Princess said she threw up again. Mrs. X said that Princess appeared fine to her but she did not want to make the call as to whether or not she should go home. I asked Mrs. X to put Princess on the phone. I told her that she needed to stay in school to learn. I stayed fairly close by the phone the rest of the day just in case the school called again. At the end of the day I received Princess's behavior sheet for the day that stated that she claimed to have thrown up at least one more time that day.
So I figured that this faking it was over and done with until last night. Wrong again! I had been asking Princess to finish her sandwich before she could have some ice cream. She complained that her lungs hurt so she couldn't eat. I told her that was OK but she wouldn't get any dessert unless she ate something nutritious. You know the drill. At one point I had gone to use the facilities so to speak. When I came out, Princess greeted me with " I just threw up in the kitchen sink? Can I still have ice cream?" I found this statement a little odd so I asked her to show me where she threw up. I looked and looked but I could not find any evidence that she had emptied the contents of her stomach. That's when she "fessed up" and admitted that she did not throw up. I guess she felt guilty about this because all of a sudden she spilled the beans that she did not throw up at school either, not even on Thursday.
Some might call me crazy but I still gave her ice cream because she did eat the peaches that we had agreed she would eat in place of the sandwich and she came clean with lots of information. Princess's therapist does this thing called amnesty where if the child is honest and remorseful about something, you can forgive them of the dirty deed. I felt that this qualified as one of those times. One thing that I do have to be careful about is to not use the amnesty card too much.
 After Princess went to bed, I emailed her teacher, her tdoc, pdoc, advocate, principal, and school todc to let them  know that Princess did admit to "lying" about getting sick to her stomach. I want to make sure that all of the adults in Princess's life have all of the facts so that together we can outsmart this smarty pants. In the end I hope that this is the demise of lying to get out of school but I know that it is probably not. The next time Princess is sick, my dh and I will not be so quick to let her have extra privileges. Stay tuned for more Drama Queen adventures.
** Abbreviations: tdoc= therapist, pdoc= psychiatrist, dh= dear husband