Bloggy Moms

Thursday, May 22, 2014

On Being the Mom My Kid Needs

Today there was an incident that reminded me of why I do what I do for my daughter. It went like this...

Yesterday I received a phone call from Princess' teacher during the school day. My heart skipped a beat because in the past phone calls meant one of two things and never anything else: either my kid hurt another kid or she was hurt or sick. Never once did I get a phone call complimenting my child. Yesterday's phone call was neither. It was about changing the time the van picks Princess up in the morning. It worked out wonderful for us this morning to have almost an extra hour.

Then today I did get one of those dreaded phone calls. This time it was that my child was injured. I should be upset because another child pushed my child into a wall which injured her already delicate back. I'm not angry though because my daughter used to be the one hurting other children.

Princess' school therapist/case manager called me to tell me about the injury and to see if I wanted to pick Princess up. She informed me that Princess had asked for me to come get her. Since I had not had to do this in a very long time, I agreed.

One of the reasons I thought I should come and get Princess was that I wanted her to know that I cared. I envisioned her sitting there wondering why her mom didn't pick her up. As I was thinking about this I recalled a time when I was a child when my mom did not come and get me. I still remember to this day that I was in 6th grade when my period leaked through my white pants. For whatever reason my mom could not take off work so the male principal drove me home. Once home I discovered my two brothers were home from school sick that day. Since my older brother was of age, he stayed home to take care of both of them. It was an awkward and embarrassing moment to be sure.  I was surrounded by all of these males in the middle of my female crisis. Don't get me wrong there were plenty of times that my mom took off to take care of me but this one time she did not.

When Princess was littler and even last year, we got a lot of phone calls from the school telling us that she had hurt herself. Most of the time my husband went to get her because at the time he was the primary caretaker. There was one time that he was substitute teaching and I was teaching full time. Neither one of us could get away easily and we didn't really have any friends or relatives who could come and get Princess. I ended up being the one to go get her. It ended up being nothing but I was glad that I went nonetheless.

Now that I am home full time, I am able to be available for little snafus like today. Unless I am in a very important meeting or too far away to get there in time, I want to be the one to help her. I understand that there may be a time where my husband or a friend might have to come to her aid but I hope that my daughter doesn't have to encounter the embarrassment that I did.

Update-On the car ride home I asked Princess what she said that ticked the other child off. She said that she did not say anything but rather gave her the "Chinese" middle finger. Apparently it is to stick your pinky in the air. I told Princess that she won't be doing that next time this other student is upset.

Princess is now happily playing with her dolls. Pretty soon I'll try getting her to do some homework. She seems to have fully recovered.

Is there a time when you had to pick up your child from school? Is there a time that you were unable to be there when your child needed you? Is there a time when your parents were not there for you in your hour of need? Please respond here or on my Facebook page- Raising a Drama Queen: Insights and Musings in Bipolar Land

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